If I’ve learned anything in the past several months, I’ve learned that the ability to be alone and comfortable with yourself is a gift. When you get past the point of no longer needing constant outside stimulation from other people in order to avoid time with yourself, you have made a monumental gain.
Time alone is a time for reflection and introspection. It’s a time to acknowledge the noise, but to choose to brush aside societal pressures and to listen to the truth inside your heart. It’s a time to ask yourself questions like, “What needs mending?” and ” What can I work on inwardly in order to live more fully outwardly?”
For many of us, being alone is terrifying because we don’t do it often enough. Real honesty, especially with one’s self is terrifying.
We live in a culture that capitalizes on the expectation to be constantly social and when we’re not, we’re deemed things like “loner” or “un-lovable.”
What if, in Western culture, we chose to accept those traditionally negative labels, and turned them into something positive by proving that time alone creates strength and love inwardly that can then be transmitted to others?
For a long time, if not most of my life, I thought my own worthiness of love, abundance, and happiness was completely based on what I put out or allowed to the surface. Such as, if I changed something about my appearance, I could more easily find love. Or if I held a certain job title then I would gain the respect I craved from family and peers- which in some ways, is still true. But, I have seen first hand people who live on a surface level instead of purposefully who choose to never face their possible inner demons and never find peace, love or happiness in a way that feels truly fulfilling.
Being alone does not have to feel lonely. In fact, you can find peace in being alone within a group of people. For example, while practicing yoga in a class setting or participating in a group mediation. I am able to see my most true authentic self in those situations, and I think now for the first time ever, I am at peace with myself. And although I am still learning how to heal wounds from past trauma, I am finding that I am okay with this strong, beautiful, colorful and more importantly, whole person I am.
Last week during a group mediation/coaching session, I said that, “I see myself becoming the woman I want to be,” to which I received the response, “what if she’s always been there? What if you’ve been her since the time you were a child? You’re just choosing to accept and see her now.”
And I really believe I am.